Ultra Short Medley of Pithy Tidbits

A collection of ultra short but pithy nuggets from MLLG’s treasury
Ultra Short Medley of Pithy Tidbits
By: George Noga – August 13, 2017
      This summer I am experimenting with different formats. This post presents several ultra short, but blog-worthy, tidbits that have accumulated over the past year.
Dakota Access Pipeline now open Environmental protesters left 250 truckloads of detritus spread over 50 acres. The army cleaned up the toxic sludge before it flowed into Lake Oahe, the same lake protesters said would be polluted by the pipeline. This is not just a one off story; liberal protesters never clean up after themselves.
Who’s your progenitor? In Spain, birth certificates no longer use mother or father; instead they use “progenitor A” and “progenitor B“. Marriage licenses list “spouse 1” and “spouse 2“. Chimps, apes and orangutans have been granted full human rights.
The Chavez Diet is a sure way to lose weight. Just move to Venezuela and eat all the food you can scavenge. Last year 80% of Venezuelans lost at least 20 pounds. If you go, be sure to bring your own toilet paper to this socialist workers’ paradise.
When is climate change global warming? Progressives prefer climate change; but when summer rolls around, they revert to global warming. Canny, these liberals!
Obamacare for dummies To insure the uninsured, Obamacare first must uninsure the insured and then mandate they become reinsured at higher cost. The extra premium they pay is for the original uninsured now to become insured at far below cost.
Liberal Dogma: You can kill the golden goose but continue to get golden eggs.
The difference a day makes Young lovers born a day apart break no law until the day one of them turns 18. For that one day only, sex can be rape. The next day, when both are 18, everything is again legal. Teenagers have been prosecuted for this. Government has rendered the sex offender registry meaningless because of such lunacy.
Latest liberal food paranoia Celiac disease, a serious reaction to gluten, affects 1% of Americans although only 100,000 have been diagnosed. Nonetheless, 110 million progressives avoid gluten – equal to 1,100 for each person diagnosed. To make food gluten-free, many polysyllabic chemicals are substituted. Watch what you wish for.
Circus never closes Barnum & Bailey closed but the Washington circus never ends. Circuses, carnivals and freak shows have not disappeared; they simply moved to Washington and cable news shows. They feature prestidigitation, illusion, fake news, people who talk incessantly without saying anything – even bloody severed heads.
GMOs turn 20 The first GMO was used in 1997. Since then, not one person has gotten even a bellyache. Crop yields are up over 20% while pesticide usage declined nearly 40%. Without GMOs, an additional 100,000 square miles (Ohio and Indiana) would have to be cultivated. Someone please remind me why GMOs are Frankenfood.
Obama living the high life He gets $400,000 for speeches to Wall Street firms and jets all over the world cocooned in luxury and leaving a gargantuan carbon footprint. Pocahontas, a/k/a Elizabeth Warren, said he is out of touch with most Americans. And this coming from someone who received $430,000 to teach one class at Harvard.